


All the Whispers

by emrisemrisemris



Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: AU, ME3, Unspecified Gender Shepard, unspecified love interest/s or none
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-21
Updated: 2017-08-21
Packaged: 2018-12-18 05:21:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 601
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11867592
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emrisemrisemris/pseuds/emrisemrisemris
Summary: Shepard dreams of things that didn't happen: friends never met, lives never lived, enemies never made, loves never had, deaths never died.





	All the Whispers

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted [on Tumblr.](https://emrisemrisemris.tumblr.com/post/159764069968/artisticsarcasm-artisticsarcasm) Inspired by a sound file (in linked post) compiling all the whispers Shepard hears in nightmares in Mass Effect 3.

This nightmare is worse than most.

The trees are thicker, a crowding forest rather than a deserted park. Their bare crowns tangle in the grey sky. The shadows press in, voices like thorns.

At first, they are familiar, Shepard's traitor memory throwing back every failure.

Then they start to change.

Ashley pleads for Kaidan. Kaidan, for Ashley. Both of them died years ago, weeks ago; on Shepard's word, in Shepard's arms, at Shepard's hand, their last words reassurances, accusations. Both of them are alive. There's a frame on Shepard's desk with two pictures, with one picture, without a picture, face down.

Wrex is alive, and a fast friend. Wrex is dead, and much mourned. A krogan Shepard doesn't recognise swears vengeance to the end of time. Wrex is dead, and good riddance. 

Zaeed, alive; Zaeed, dead; a heavy Earth accent Shepard can't place.

Grunt, but he calls him "she". An unfamiliar krogan, who calls Shepard battlemaster. Grunt, but he calls her "he". Grunt, dead.

Legion, Legion, requesting help, requesting pity, requesting understanding, resigning its selves to nonexistence. Why is there a geth in the dream? Since when do they plead?

Jacob respects Shepard. Jacob despises Shepard. He's met someone else. He's going to be a father. Jacob's death is a raw wound. Jacob's death is a months-old regret.

Samara puts a pistol to her own temple, as Shepard watches, as Shepard snatches it away, as Shepard wonders who she is, as Shepard sees her go down under the seeker-swarm.

Jack lived fast and died young. Jack found someone else to fight for. Jack died, and Shepard was too late to save her.

Thane loves Shepard. Thane dies at his meditations, under an alien sun, in his bed. Kolyat's with him. There's someone with him. Thane pities Shepard. Who is praying these quiet, desperate prayers?

Miranda loved Shepard, hated Shepard, resented Shepard, wanted to love Shepard, wanted to be Shepard, wanted to kill Shepard. Miranda dies. She saved her sister. She saved her sister alone. Oriana had to save herself. Miranda lives.

Tali in exile, Tali forgiven. (Dead, and the news months later. Dead, buried in space. Dead, though Shepard tried to stop her. Dead, and Shepard just watched.) A mask. A face.

A woman tells Shepard she's a fan. She dies, or doesn't.

Mordin reminisces, remonstrates. Dies a friend. Dies an enemy. Mordin listens to Shepard put the case for sabotage, and - eventually - nods, and walks away.

Garrus never died. Garrus never went back to C-Sec. Garrus never trained to be a Spectre. Garrus never fell in love. Garrus loved Shepard so visibly that it hurt. Garrus hoped something would finally go right, and it never did. 

Shepard hears every single one of them die, and wakes up screaming. 

The room is dark. There's nobody here.

(Should there be somebody else here?)

"EDI." Breathe. In. Out. Again.

"Yes, Commander?"

"You were talking to Liara about parallel universes." Now the words are out, and they sit there in the darkness like the tell-tale bloodstains at the scene of the crime. 

Shepard remembers committing murder, and orders of magnitude worse. A civilization. Two civilizations. Old friends. Shepard remembers brokering impossible peaces. Shepard remembers reasoning to no avail, until the question became only whose blood was going to be the price.

"Yes. We discussed whether the mass effect would remain viable if the laws of physics diverged far enough from our own -"

"How would they happen?"  _ Why? _

"I can recommend several theoretical discussions accessible to an untrained audience," EDI says. "Alternatively, I am happy to discuss it with you myself. Why do you ask?"

 


End file.
